Below is the complete text of a letter to Strangely Perfect from Doomage Khult received today, 3 April 2008.

As you will read, it’s asked that the letter be published in full or not at all. This wish has of course been accommodated.

Dear Mr Perfect

I think it’s about time I chucked in my tuppence-worth into the pot.

When I heard that The Gas Chair was about to be re-released on LTM, naturally I became curious. Some elementary detective work led me on the trail of Anth Chester, so I contacted him and he filled me in on the details – James Nice, a former employee of Factory Benelux had found half of the master tapes of said album and had asked for Anth’s permission to rip off one side of an original vinyl for a re-issue. I understand that he was given a £250 advance for this, which I stress he split with Holly 50-50 and in the process acquired the master tape of Homunculus Equinox.

So far so good I thought – after all Anth and Holly did play their parts in those recordings which nobody can deny. What I didn’t know about at that time were the “bonus” tracks, and I was a bit peeved about the inclusion of Sex Machine and Berlin of which you know neither of them had anything to do with. But by the time I found that out, it was a Done Deal in Production and I childishly decided to keep my opinionated trap shut. Be clear though, I’m not dissing Holly – after your departure strangely we didn’t forlornly shamble about in the woods waiting in vain for the return of the messiah, but continued our long and increasingly productive creative partnership.

To resume; not being bothered about getting any remuneration (I don’t need it – just as well as I haven’t received a penny), I thought it would be fun to focus on the reaction to our material some twenty years on. Like yourself I am intensely proud of all our Art and was pretty chuffed to see that it polarized the critics just as much as the first time around and thus hadn’t dated at all.

Anyway opinions are one thing and facts and assumptions are quite distinct beasts altogether. Your colourful tale of a lightning strike inducing some subtle sinister change to my personality (a storyline that surely would have been warmly welcomed by the writers of Murder She Wrote) is absolutely hilarious – in particular the increasing abuse of spirits aspect. I do seem to recall we had a very productive ale micro-brewery in place at Beside(sic) Hall which formed the bulk of our alcohol consumption in situ; but I don’t remember pouring any hard liquor down my throat either there or at any of the public hostelries. Mind you, if you mean communing with spirits – that is a different kettle of fish of which I admit to unreservedly.

It never ceases to amaze me how certain folk project shadows of their own failings onto others: I would put it to you that a more plausible cause for any perceived change of character that someone as thick-skinned as yourself may have picked up on:- was that I’d become utterly pissed off with your habitual indolence. What also rankles is your over-inflated opinion of your personal contributions to Waqqaz – being so important to the process that you are blissfully unaware of who the drummer actually was (no it wasn’t ‘Clinka’ – I’d sacked him by then, no it wasn’t ‘George (?)’ either, or anyone else that you mention for that matter)?

I rest my case m’lud.

For the record, the primary reason why I don’t want to waste my time talking to the likes of yourself (and that doesn’t equate to being a recluse), dates back to the day you paid a little flying visit to Bebside and purloined approximately two-thirds of my album collection – a heinous crime to perpetrate on a music lover, as I’m sure you’ll agree, selective or crap memory notwithstanding.

On a more positive note I am pleased that you intend to get everything out into the public domain, that’s just great – go for it. I can think of no more appropriate place than your website, and I do mean that most sincerely. I’m in possession of the entire Chaos tape archive (including videos) and would be keen to hand it all over to your most worthy cause, but the very thought of meeting up with such a dishonourable chap as yourself makes me feel slightly queasy.

Q: What’s the difference between Strangely Perfect and a bucketful of phlegm?

A: The bucket.

I thank you: Please feel free to publish this communication in its entirety on your website, or print it out and stuff it up your arse; whatever takes your fancy.

Regards, Doomsie.

Yep. It’s in the title really.

I’ve re-set the comments to appear on (virtually) every page to add a bit more spontaneity. I initially locked stuff down quite brutally after the twit muslims had hacked my site and duffed up some pix. I fixed this almost straight away with heaps of extra security that I’ve now discovered (so thanks for that chaps, and you are chaps, I can tell), but have only got round to re-implementing the functionality now. Why? Dunno. So there.

A contact page is on the way. The host supplied script doesn’t work in the blog so I’ll find another way.

The photo page has been re-jigged a bit. I’ve lost some of the stuff from Holly. I may have to ask again if I can’t find it as I lost the email with a bit of dodgy computer upgrading…

Strangely Perfect

Cerysmatic has pointed out someone else’s alternative viewpoint to the normal heroic rhetoric being bandied around about the sometime record mogul. This relates to the freedom of Manchester thing, e.g. here. Fair play to John Cooper for publishing the info on his site which, it must be said, normally throws a wholly positive light onto the whole Factory thing.

Code: Foetus 4

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Remocarpet

Doomage inspired track based on a repeating C-A-E chord sequence played in 4/4 so that the chords appear to “rotate”.

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1078-1082

Doomage creation. Strangely vocals with spooky spoken words added by Doomage

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Oh Blasé

Doomage inspired chords and words. Strangely edited words to fit. First played live at an open air gig at Nenthead where it lasted about half an hour.

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Fatso Died And Likes It

Simple tune, very soon written as a vehicle to transport football piss-take joke words. It starts fairly hard and then drops for the amalgam of poorly heard football commentary rising to another climax.

After the first serious mix-down we all sat down to watch the TV with this track in the background. The news was on with the Heysel disaster, almost live.
The news item lasted the length of the track and was a perfect audio accompaniment to the terrifying scenes. The hairs rose on my arms for that.

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Trouty Hobin

Very disturbing. The madness starts here.
Holly created chord structure then everyone added a bit. Doomage created keyboard chords at end which Strangely played. Everyone seemed to switch places both playing and inventing the parts with this one.

Since reworked by Holly as “The Punk Trout” as output for his current project, The Symptoms.

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Comrade Dolphin

Strangely inspired to investigate what would happen with two notes a fourth apart changing to another two so that the low one goes down a semitone and the higher up a semitone, thus producing a fifth. Progressed  to completion while Strangely was in France and very nice it is too. Strangely intends to do it again with the original “hard” version in his head.

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Reg Vase

Doomage creation and one his finest in the opinion of the author. He spent about a fortnight working out every note for the multi-layered guitar-based track. Words added by Strangely for variety. They spell EYES by design.

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The White Sybil

Holly based track (inc trumpets!). Strangely synthesiser is two-tracked with two notes tuned by ear EXACTLY a perfect third apart, with levels adjusted to suit. This gives the strange sound as usually the normal third would be used which is slightly atonal but our ears are accustomed to it, hence the perfect third sounds odd. This coupled to exactly the same notes on the organ makes it quite weird.

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Yoni Suchon

Strangely originated. Doomage words (Yoni is rude, tut tut). Strangely plays keyboard through fuzz/VCA/echo as standard. Guitar power chorus. “Tengo mucho beber” is Strangely’s poor Spanglish for “I’ve had too much to drink”

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Curling Sandwiches

Doomage main vocals on a joint creation(?). Multi-tuned synth goes through VCA for plinkity sound. Pinky and Perky on guest vocals.

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Netwilf

Holly creation from Nothin’ days slowed right down for this effort, one of my favourite pieces.
Pamela’s Vile refers to Palmersville outside North Shields.

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Bosumptwi

Doomage creation. We never could find any vocal inspiration for this one without being corny.  Later tapes may have some.

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I Must Be Ambidextrous (I Can Smoke With Both Hands)

Holly music and words creation. The words refer to a (working) holiday he had in France when he ran out of dosh and was so hungry he seriously considered eating a packet of Henna hair dye he found on the street. Strangely’s harmony vocals made Holly smile.

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Comrade Dolphin (Reprise)

- pretty obvious from the title really.

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Me

Looking down, I saw that you are bleeding(,) awful.
Beginnings forgotten - the parts are a joint effort.

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Sacks emptied shock!

In a recent communique from Davenport, he tells me that after bumping into Hippy Mick recently, he was informed by Mick that the Chrissie/sacks/emptying statement is now false. However, I shall retain the reference as it refers to his trip to Morocco (I think) with Chrissie many years ago and I like the expression. It always brings a smile. Strangely is wearing his white jacket. Davenport is far left. Hippy Mick is second left in this picture. There are no pictures of his sacks but this link shows where they might be.

I’ve received some extra information from Holly today with some extra photos that should be a bit interesting for those of a historical bent! Any descriptions are left to right.

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Van to nowhere. Strangely, Sue,Haircut, Clinka, Doomage

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In the back of a Manchester club (Electric Ballroom I think), waiting to find out which one.Holly and Eddie Fenn (Fatso) in photogenic mode, one of his finer poses.

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Typical Holly pose (mmm, nice top.) Foetus drape behind.

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Doomage & Chrissie. Angst. Something’s gonna happen soon here…

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Strangely and Doomage. This was a New Years gig down near Lampeter/Tregaron. Some guy from Hawkwind was there passing the joints around, which was nice. We slept in a farmhouse and I think this is us going for a walk in the morning.

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Newcastle University outdoor lunchtime gig. This is not long after Holly joined as I can spy a Wem Copycat. Hence the twiddling.
People are Holly, Billy Connolly (Gordon)(famous for drinking the warm piss in a beer can and not noticing), Strangely, ?, ? , Curly (Ligger) Jhon, ? .

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Pub liggers, let me know who you are..
I’ve got ?, Sally(prob), ?, ?, Bingo (Gareth), ? ,Maxine, ?

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Strangely Perfect pretending to be a tree. Hard to bear, hard to bear.

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Code: Foetus 3

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Gygno

Holly created guitar and bass. Bass was played by Doomage on this, Holly guitar. The rinkity-dinkity synth and plain distorted organ solo were added by Strangely with words and the original singing from Haircut. But we got fed up with his singing so Strangely did it, better. Certainly on this one. Gary invented the fantastic drums instantly. It’s a very precise piece with thrashing guitars mixed well back from the starting noise and stuff. Strangely uses the proximity effect on the microphone and stressed sibilance on the tape-echoed vocal. Doomage set the bass guitar sound up brilliantly and the drums come through nicely, especially the toms.

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Urbane Encounter

Doomage riff inspired. Strangely orchestrated.
Nightmare in Eldon Square Shopping Centre. Played at virtually every gig. Took 3 years to record properly…Laziness I guess.

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Wee Jimmy (Part II)

Strangely made. Re-jigged for daftness.
EFS kind of piece. Fairgrounds and Tom & Jerry are in this as well as classical diminished descents. Jim from Derrim let us down with his tape deck. So he got a daft tune named after him.

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Worms

Originally created as a jam Doomage guitar jam voiced over round his mum’s place by Strangely who didn’t have any instruments or gear at the time. Developed and recorded at the Pits using special one-hit super-stereo echo on the drum toms as an experiment. I can smell the worms coming, Hah!

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The Katrina Syndrome

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Friends

Created by Strangely with extra clangy Crawling Chaos additions. Originally derived as a cross between “”Baby You’re so Repulsive” by “Crime” and “Andy Warhol” by David Bowie. Samples to compare are here.

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Jhonn’s Angel

Doomage invention.
The vocals can be approached in many ways. This is one way.

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The Vulva Boatman

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Fraüline Le Moîne

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D.S.S.

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Skaill

Neat jam played twice, one at 2x speed. Stopwatch timed to finish concurrently. PLAY LOUD.

From an atmospheric and powerful jam between Doomage and Strangely.
It was so good that the only addition needed was itself speeded up two times. It was copied onto another tape and then the fast one started at the correct time to finish concurrently with the slow (normal) one using a stopwatch. EQ and volumes were adjusted to suit the feel and pace. The piece sounded sea-like and Orkadian or Skerry-ish tied to the sound of ages. We pulled the right-sounding title from an atlas of the Orkneys, which is here. It’s quite close to Skara Brae.

I’ve turned the bass up even more here. It’s almost impossible to get it to sound like the PA in the room otherwise.

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As mentioned elsewhere, this was released by Factory Records with their mistaken name of “The Gas Chair”. The band thought they were very clever getting a title as an anagram of the band’s name. There were several and the plan was for each to be used for a different LP release. After the first fuck up, we didn’t bother.

Code: FACBN 6

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Macabre Royale

Recycled “Newspapers” (original lyrics on lyrics page). Slowed down and effected reworking of a Doomage creation, sans words.

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Creamo Coyl

E.F.S. Union of “Out of the Blue” and a Nothin’ track.
Obviously a piss take. Started off with Strangely tooting on keyboards the chords to “Out of the Blue” by Roxy Music. Holly said he had one like it so we put the two together. Afternoon TV full of VO5 and Pantene Pro with micro-vitamins adverts shows this tune to be a premonition.

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Left Hand Path

–almost an E.F.S. but what’s being forged?

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Guinness

Definately an E.F.S.

Gary and Jeff’s vocals emanate from an interstellar bar not far from the Arsenal. I’ve always been very wary of noodles since this.

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Arabesque

Actually an E.F.S.

Strangely created. Tune is arpeggiated Adim and Ddim hence Arabian sounding, hence the name. Haircut made up a few words. The tune was made on Strangely mother’s dining room table while testing the R1 and R2 combination. He was experimenting with fuzzed Adim, trying to get Aelonian and Dorian sounds. But it ended up Arabic… This mix has the snare drum alone using the long hallway at The Pits as an echo chamber again, with the other channels using our normal tape echo where appropriate.

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Harry

Harry Secombe’s coming to tea. Holly creation. Woke up after a weird dream thinking that the now deceased portly comic and singer was arriving that day. For tea.
He invented this before he took drugs. It was a much loved and valued addition to the Crawling Chaos repertoire. We made a fortune doing this song again and again a charity collection in the streets of Morpeth. Me on vocals and mouth piano thing, Holly on guitar and a couple of others on bucket collection duty.I still play this every week; I love it!

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Disierta Membra

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Canadian Pacific

E.F.S. le grand plus en plus.
Doomage inspired creation with Strangely. Doomage & Strangely lyrics (for what they’re worth!) American gloomy country piss-take. Nice and short, fortunately. Aaah ma baabeez gorn and left me…

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Breaking Down

Neat. Distinctive.
E.F.S.

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Code: FOETUS 0001

What’s Your Noise

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Fuel For The Blonde Ethiopian

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Taste Of Honey

A fairly straight rendition of a classic. Loads of 7th’s.

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Mummy’s Tummy

Doomage creation with Mackie vocals. I don’t think we ever did it live.
Fast flanged vocals, fuzz bass, large depth VCA’d keyboards. Pretty daft. More a vehicle for Mackie to relieve himself of some bizarre fantasy.

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Valium B

School hymn reworked - why not?

Paul sung. The rest is normal Crawling Chaos fiddling. We did have plans to do a few more as a package to upset the “Songs of Praise” mob.

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Ashen

Ashen fay-ace!

Basic structure was a Doomage invention, worked up by the other band members.. Single note keyboards on top with bass & drums. Unusual musical phrasing. Haircut words. The words in Ashen are based on Haircut and Holly’s observation of the bartender in a pub in Backworth called “The Deuchars“. The barman had really greasy, lank straight hair that clacked when he bent over to collect empty glasses. The Deuchars pops up in a few places. We never did get the Dyke Neuk fitted in anywhere. Anyway, it’s too posh now.

Ashen was in the set for quite a few years.

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Tom’s Bum (There’s)

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Stinging Gnats

Doomage inspired. The essence was to have each instrument do a closely related, simple and repeating phrase, each on a different time signature but in the same key. Every so often the music is in phase and true harmony. This is broken up with a standard block chord middle eight prompted by Gazza on drums so each “verse” is of indeterminate length, done on the nod.

This was in the set for years.

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Heavy Lovin’

E.F.S. -which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny.

Heavy metal piss-take. Includes all the usual crap like riffs, solos, namings. A key part of the sound was Strangely’s use of a long hallway at “The Pits” with a cheap guitar amp at one end and a mike at the other. This was the Echo Chamber. Strangely gave it a go after reading how studios did echo in the old days.

The live feed was fed through the amp and re-injected into the mix from the mike. Then this was continuously varied to get a live feel of the audience moving around and the PA mixer guy constantly battling against feedback. It is exactly what gigs sounded like at the “Mayfair”, Newcastle in the 70’s. They’re still doing it now in the pubs round here. Anth played on this and thought it was real.

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The Mongolian Steak Bar

Strangely created. Comes from the verse intro of the Rod Stewart song, “If You Think I’m Sexy” mated to a few key Rachmaninov key changes. Fizz guitar works but Holly’s bass doesn’t. I just don’t think it should be a bass guitar, that’s all. Will redo bass part with a breathy bass saxophone and low bass keyboard rumbles.

When this tune was named, the name seemed pretty wacky. Since then there has been a Mongolian Restaurant down on the quayside in Newcastle for some years. However, at the time of recording, you went down “The Side” to the Quayside at night in pairs at least and there were only the “Crown Posada” and my auntie’s pub, the “Newcastle Arms” right under the Tyne Bridge. The back alleys were really dodgy. Now they are trendy housing developments. You should see it…

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Voedoux

Joint creation of Doomage and Strangely. Each had virtually the same effects. Importantly, a VCA/VCF with separate input and output for the internal LFO VCO. Also, a VCA fuzz box so that an input voltage would modulate the degree and tonality of fuzz.Each persons VCO LFO output was connected to the other’s VCA/ VCA-fuzz input.
Then the VCO speeds were set to be close but not exact so that long period beat frequencies were initiated. The input sensitivities were turned right up to amplify internal noise. Then the outputs were sent through the mix with lots of cross-echo for each heavily panned source and a bit of extra bass to get a better thump noise…It is a helluva good rythmn. The plan was to do loads more like this. Percussion and screeches/shrieks were added on top to add a bit more atmosphere. The name is a pseudy rendition of Voodoo, pronounced the same.

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Tell Me Why

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East Of West Allotment

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Suck

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One More Peso

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There’s no order or sense to all this. It’s as it comes. All the music anecdotes are being moved to accompany the tracks as an entity, hopefully making a bit more sense. After that, this page will be repository of stupid things and remarkable feats - in other words, anecdotes, which will be added to over time.

Music:

Composition:

Info:

Loofas

A Nothin’ originated tune. The only significant difference is the addition of keyboards by Strangely, especially the start which is G major and G Dim alternating chords terminating with a Bflat major then B major chord.Apparently, one day Holly and Shieldsy were going to put some flowers on his grandad’s grave. On the back seat of the bus they were travelling on was a bag containing a loofa. The bus was the 442*** (Ashington to North Shields via Deleval). They loofa and flowers were left on the grave as a gift together. Nice.***the 442 is no more since 2007. It’s now the 12 and doesn’t go as far. This means if the words are changed it’ll be crap.

Gigs & Happenings:

Location	Info
Strangely Perfect memory of the Leigh Festival.This is the text of a posting I made here.	Angst in East Lancs Wasteland This was the banner headline in NME I think for the gig at the Leigh Festival. Either that or Sounds and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Sounds. Two things stick in my mind about the gig apart from it being freezing cold and there being no-one there. On the bus there were no toilets but there was lots of beer. So the empty tins were getting filled with piss (I think the bus only did one piss stop on the journey). Jeff had just filled one and Billy Connolly (Gordon) asked if he could have a drink because he was thirsty. So Jeff gave him the can and Gordon drank it remarking only, that it tasted warm The second thing is the fact that Crawling Chaos had a song called “Merry Christmas, Prince Charles” which Jeff and me wrote in my bedroom in 10 minutes and embellished over time. The song started with a long monologue from me backed by mournfull keyboard and guitar sounds and a few cymbal splashes. The gist of the “speech” was about a fictionalised personal meeting between Strangely Perfect and Prince Charles which I always made up on the spur of the moment. Leigh Festival had some toilets (I’d just been and they were to the right when viewed from the stage) and I fitted them into the monologue. An hour or so later, when we’d finished playing, this beautiful girl came up to me and started talking about the Prince Charles song (I thought I was in there as I naturally thought she was chatting me up…). She said “You know you mentioned the toilets where you saw Prince Charles?” “Yes?” I feverishly replied…. “Well can you tell me where they are ‘cos I’m bursting?” she deflatingly retorted with her question. Apart from that, we didn’t stay to see Joyce Division but we saw OMD and their spinny tape deck (we had one similarly but kept it out of sight)
Visit to Tony Wilson at Glossop: This is the text of a posting I made here	In this review of the 24 hour party people film, the author, Miranda Sawyer states So, the Tony Wilson of the film is constantly saying, ‘I’m a Cambridge graduate, you know,’ which the real-life Wilson doesn’t. ..er. That’s not quite true from my recollection , you know. Before “Sex Machine” was released by Factory we made a surprise visit to Wilson’s house in Glossop, (not the one in Palatine Road, Didsbury - that was another time when we got scowled at by everyone there except Erasmus and Wilson). Initially, Wilson wouldn’t let us in. But we knew he was in, by the car, smoke from chimney, etc. He popped his head through a chink in the curtains to see who was there, and when he saw it was a bunch of scruffs, let us in. It was a nice little cottage on the side of a hill and was a lovely sunny day. He told us “sorry… but I’m a bit worried after the Louis Edwards expose I’ve done on “World in Action” “. He presented/investigated for the show corruption in Manchester United and he thought the big boys were coming round to do him in. We got the picture from his end, this is someone’s view from Man U Trust. After that, we got chatting and smoking. He had a huge video collection with all the “So It Goes” tapes, which was nice. He was especially pleased to show us some old Tiswas stuff which he droned on about. During the stay, Jeff and him started comparing degrees e.g. “wot you get - oooh, a first! Where d’yu geddit - oooh Cambridge, oooh Newcastle” etc etc. At this juncture, some of the lads got bored and went to play in the fields. Me, the bleeze was too much and I passed into neverland. The point of all this; well he did go on about his degree and he was immensely proud of it.
Gosforth Hotel, Salters Road, Gosforth, Tyne & Wear	Site of early gigs on roster with The Noise Toys (TNT) etc. This is the pub where Chris Donald started his Viz mag.
The Russel Club, Mosside, Manchester	Site of the Gratton “joke”. JD didn’t play too bad. There were a lot of really scary black guys wearing floor length fur coats looking like they were packin’. I remember “Echo Beach” being played a lot between bands. When Crawling Chaos found that Joy Division weren’t going to drink their post gig pile of “Pils”, we stepped in and drank the lot. This was when Curtis came up to me and said: “Well, I’ve tried to speak to you lot, but I just can’t get on with you…” in a very gay way.. Curly Jhon gave him the ritual tirade of “Joyce! Joyce De Vision!” whence he walked off. Two weeks later he hung himself.
The Bridge Hotel, Newcastle	Site of first gig. Quite a bit was recorded here at various times e.g “Berlin”. First gig sucked Curly Jhon into into the fold. Doomage was really confident, so much so I was shocked by the looks on some audience faces. Strangely wore a home-made steel Viking helmet, borrowed from a biker bloke that lived in the flat below the Attic. He hung sanitory towels from the cheek pieces, dyed up to look used. It lasted two tunes as it was so fucking heavy; each time he tried to play keyboards it slipped over his face, bonked his nose and almost broke his neck with the weight of it. Last Exit played regularly there and thereabouts. One member was called Gordon Sumner.
Spectro Arts Workshop, Newcastle	Played a few times there. Nice and clean and white inside. This was the gig when Strangely realised that women didn’t hold all the sexual cards. As was normal at the time, Strangely would get his kit off down to his old man long johns. Whilst prancing around he became aware that all the women in the audience weren’t listening to the music, but just trying to get a glimpse of his willie if it popped out of the slot in the front (there were no fly buttons or other closure devices).
Guildhall, Newcastle	Played as part of a big “Rock Against Racism“/”Anti-Nazi League” event. Other bands included The Mekons and X-o-dus. The Crawling Chaos played and the next lot came on. After about 10 minutes, an infiltration of thuggish types charged through the crowd, poured onto the stage and backstage as well. Strangely was pushed backstage while trying to shut the doors and hid under a table. Dozens of police arrived. A burly copper replied to me when I answered his question with “It’s a rock against racism event. It’s supposed to be peaceful.”"That Peaceful!” It’s more like a bloody war zone here”. Fatso got hit on the head with a fire extinguisher although someone said they’d seen a speaker flying through the air in his direction. The legend continues. He got CIC money though.
Penmaenmawr, North Wales	Fuckin mushrooms and beer.On the way to play at a nurses home in Wales, the hire van broke down just north of Tebay (where the services are now, more or less). While waiting for a replacement, a field of magic mushrooms was espied. Everyone started collecting “for later” but most put one in the pocket, one in the gob. By the time the new van arrived everyone was spaced out, possibly ‘cos we woz threatened by a big guy with a shotgun at the old Tebay services . I have a lasting vision of Clinka strutting round lane one on the M6 with a cardboard guitar, getting nearly killed by the traffic.After stopping for (more) beer in Runcorn (luxury), we arrived at the nurses home, carried the gear up loads of stairs, set it all up and then went into a dark room for 12 hours without playing because we couldn’t see anything as there was too much spurious visual input.The next day we were still spaced out. I was shivering like mad in a crap seaside cafe thinking I was going to die. I think I took about 1000 magic mushrooms of the good firm snot-like variety, about a large handfull. It’s the only time I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed, that night. A severe excess ? Fucking bad.
Durham	Crawling Chaos played a youth club in Durham and left the postering to other folks - fatal mistake, although they didn’t do anything we hadn’t done previously.However, the local burgers of that city haven’t quite forgiven the Viking pillagers from the North yet and so took offence at having various green GPO connector boxes, lamp-posts and walls plastered with our advertising (which included contact details!! (twit).In Wallsend, the local coppers paid a vist to Fatso and Harry and hauled them off to the nick where they gave their names as Doomage Khult and Errol Dynamic, amusing the desk sargeant greatly.He soon saw the ruse and we all ended up being charged, summonsed and then visited Durham Magistrates Court where I was told to stand up straight and take my hands from my pockets by the Clerk of the Court. The “Post Office Installations” figured many times in the charge sheets which were read out completely to each of us, to which we all pleaded guilty and were each fined £1 for each offence and £5 costs. That was £11. It seemed to take about an hour.So that was that then.
Hamilton Hotel, Whitley Bay, Tyne & Wear	This picture from this page shows a pic from an attic looking down South Parade. The Hamilton has changed names several times since Crawling Chaos got chucked out for being too loud.It was down on the left of South Parade heading towards the sea. The Rex Hotel is visible as the last hotel on the right before the sea. It’s still there.A gig was arranged and I organised a magician old school friend called Dave Brown to do a spot in between our two sets. Unfortunately, the owner woman found the music too loud and offensive (she should have guessed by our name, doh!) and called the police as we refused to stop playing until we were paid. A big burly sergeant turned up with a bit of backup ‘cos the place was pretty packed. I put on my diplomatic hat and arranged for us to finish with a couple of quiet numbers, then the magician to do his spot, and then we’d get paid and go. I remember Doomage and Fatso getting pretty fired up for an argument. We must’ve looked like good punk-bad punk to her, poor red-lip-sticked woman. The big old sergeant asked her if this was okay, in a reasonable voice, she aquiesed, and the agreed events passed by.So that’s what happened. Extra info here.

like getting locked up in Ashington nick because of the chalk and cheese
brothers….

like the chalk and cheese incident later on the same night with the van door
dropping onto a copper’s foot in Tynemouth….

like the pissed up gig at the Rock Garden in Covent Garden….

like the gig at the Moonlight Club that led to the ridiculous slagging off by Adam Sweeting (can he play anything at all?)….

like the fight at the Manchester’s Electric Circus as a clash of personalities erupted between guitarists (no beer spilt tho’)….

like the Manchester tour where at one gig Fatso forgot his drums so we just miked up beer trays and mats for him…

like the fight at the Electric Ballroom, London when Macky got walloped by one of The Monochrome Set . “And quite right too” - said Holly in a recent email to me (2 Dec 2007).