Main image: “The Fall of Numenor,” an allusion to Atlantis made by J.R.R. Tolkien well after HP Lovecraft did his stuff.


Sex Machine/Berlin

Official Website – "the best music this side of tomorrow" - said Margaret Thatcher's ghost to some other cunt's ghost

Last Updated on January 4, 2024

Code: FAC 17

FAC17 Original Factory front cover for Sex Machine


Sex Machine

Sex Machine ©1979 ©1980 ©2023 The Crawling Chaos

Loadsa beer, 1 hr jamming, 30 mins lyrics semi-intellectual brainstorm and 3 months gestation created the “Factory” favourite. Old original releases are on YouTube etc. So go listen there. Below is much, much better. Very much so.  As Mary Poppins would say, practically perfect in every way.

SeX MacHine ©2023

      Sex Machine ©2023 The Crawling Chaos
Noise reduction done in Reaper, FFT size 32768 bits, oversampling at 728k

Notice the noise floor… It’s removing stuff below the old hi-fi standard limits that back echoes in the digital world creating mush from harmonics.

This is how it is now.  I (sp) am certain that Jeff would have approved. And Joe Meek.  My new version is in FLAC format,  37MB in size and well suitable for modern streaming unlike the mp3 files I previously used for dial-up.

I’ve used the original digitised recording of the tape when it was illegally used by Baldy Chester. Saying this, at least it was digitised and couldn’t degrade further.

I’ve now got better noise reduction on it which even removes the noise done at digitisation. It’s mostly a comb sort-of noise with a very low, probably mechanical rumble (like wow & flutter) from the original tape or digitisation machines along with the obvious 50Hz mains hum and first harmonic.  Apart from the sub-bass, all of the noise is under -60dB. Oversampling has been done throughout at up to 768k on the various things I’ve used.  Because of these processes the bass and treble become a lot clearer. I’ve added air and a bit of a “live” feel. Most importantly I’ve dropped it down a whole tone which has kept the daft voice and enhanced Jeff’s guitar playing in the instrumental section.  Ears are strange things….  The tempo is the same though.


n.b. for the elimination of doubt, supersonic sicks in the lyrics refers to extreme projectile vomiting. I know it sounds different (by my ambiguous design back then), but really, who wants supersonic sex? Not a lot of fun in a 3 second fuck.

extreme projectile vomiting



The basic drive created by Strangely during a jam one night using fuzzed LFO-controlled VCA‘d keyboards. After a few minutes Doomage had generated the killer guitar tune to go with it – a work of genius as it lends itself very well to multiple overdubs.

Derek & Clive Come Again

The tune stayed like this for a little while, jamming over several hours and nights to suck the juice from all the possibilities,  when it was decided to add some words and do it properly. On the final released version, this involved a serious amount of guitar overdubbing and a few extra keyboard bleeps. Words were added by Strangely, Doomage and Errol. Mr Dynamic thought of the first line “I’ve got a brand new pair of genes” which impressed the two Ashington lads greatly…us being the quirky sciency types.

The lyrics “pinch” heavily from the “My Mum” song by Dudley Moore on the Derek and Clive Come Again record such was our giggling insensitivities at the time.

Sex Machine?

Sex Machine?

We started off (sensibly) talking about a song topic as a prediction based on scientific progress and the natural human proclivities towards sexual enhancement(s). Our initial idea was that amputees and the like could “grow” new limbs or organs to replace damaged ones in the same way that a cell, containing all the info needed for a person, changes into a foetus and then a human being.   It’s a noble idea.  There must be something that stops human cells doing this because creatures such as salamanders can grow new tails and the liver can regenerate when only a third is left.   Also, the axolotl can regrow whole limbs and weird transplants….

Cunt on a face, 2019

Vulva face-off, 2019

However, after a pub session this idealistic approach soon degenerated, the next day, (after Strangely suggested the track should be about sex “because sex always sells”), into the words as they are and what would probably happen.

The first demo that we sent to Tony Wilson at Factory Records was noticeably different to the original instrumental and final thing on vinyl. This is it.

      Sex Machine Demo ©1979 The Crawling Chaos

I recently came across the demo as recorded here.

The words are now becoming true as scientific fact, first as gene therapy and now, what with gene modifications, gender re-assignment and designer babies becoming commonplace, as a “natural” way to enhance the sex organs, tits and lips that even more resemble vulvae especially in Home Bargains in Ashington.

After all, all men want bigger cocks and all women want bigger tits and smaller/bigger bums. Men never want smaller cocks.  It’s what we are…

The videos here shows modern developments and explanation.  We were on the right track years ago with our ideas.

However, it was a close run thing that the tune could’ve been based on Joan Crawford as we were quite fond of that track at the time as well.  What Crawfie?  The queen mother’s nanny?



      Berlin ©2023 The Crawling Chaos
Google Maps - Bridge Hotel, Newcastle

Google Maps – Bridge Hotel, Newcastle

Live recording. I’m not sure if it’s an early one done at The Bridge, Newcastle or a later one there or somewhere else, but I’m saying The Bridge… Eddie Fenn on drums(sp)

I remember a tape getting accidentally erased so that some plans had to be revised and decent stuff had to be done again. I’m 100% sure that beer was involved…

It’s a very simple piece that demonstrates the kind of jamming that was done live within a basic structure that could go on for any amount of time. For live recordings, most of the studio equipment would go on stage with the tape decks being used in innovative ways, different to their normal studio usage because we didn’t have enough gear, frankly.

One thing IS for sure though – Ian Curtis of Joyce Division would never have volunteered his services to sing with Crawling Chaos.  It was indeed Strangely Perfect wot done it, guv.

This version reworked 2023 to make it even darker & gloomier – this is pre-Berlin Wall coming down folks and Bowie had just done “Heroes” not too long before.

Copyright ©1976 , All Rights Reserved by The Crawling Chaos and Strangely Perfect

Occasional Tweets here @crawlingchaosuk

Main image: “The Fall of Numenor,” an allusion to Atlantis made by J.R.R. Tolkien well after HP Lovecraft did his stuff.