Mr Anthony Chester

Time is an Interesting Thing

There’s an interesting URL here to Amazon where some of our art is sold – note the copyright assertion on that web-page.  It’s not Crawling Chaos!  Funny that.
Or take this other Amazon URL – note the copyright assertion on that web-page.  It’s not Crawling Chaos!  Funny that.
Or take this Apple URL – note the copyright assertion on that web-page.  It’s not Crawling Chaos!  Funny that.
Or take this other Apple URL – note the copyright assertion on that web-page.  It’s not Crawling Chaos!  Funny that.

There are more, but Apple and Amazon are the biggest download players…  Here are four screenshots of the above, detailed.

Background to this Post

Some folks may know that I live in France…  So what, you may ask?  The issue, for my communications, is that both web and mobile reception is iffy in my house.  I live in the countryside and in a dip, well hidden from gits in a thick stone walled house.  The land-line is fine.

I recently had a call on the mobile that cut out (happens a lot) and later I found 2 voice messages.  Normal eh?  Well sort of….  It was Mr Anthony Chester, or Baaldy Chester as we all referred to him decades ago.  Maybe not Gazza, but the rest for sure. 🙂

Some years ago in a gesture of faith I removed all the references to him of “Baldy” and changed them to “Anth” – which was how he liked to be known.  This was not a bland gesture on my part because at that time I asked for false references and copyright assertions to be removed from the stuff that he’d released without my consultation. (The few folks on the planet who have read these pages may remember these circumstances).

Latterly, I reinstated the words.  There has been zero activity for too long in the Chester dept.

What This Post is For

So, threats about untruths and falsehoods on my part in his voice-mails have forced me to disclose exactly what the issue is; I will demolish Mr Anthony Chester’s claims whilst simultaneously correcting and clarifying some stuff on my part, as I naturally do.

The images and links at the top are just part of it, and the most visible to casual web users.  He is falsely claiming copyright for much of our works.  It cannot be plainer than that and yet, after many complaints by all of the extant band members and the passage of a large amount of time, he still keeps them there.

n.b. There are other websites where the works are downloadable, for cash or otherwise: spotify, emusic, soundcloud, rhapsody etc – if you’re in the game you’ll know. But the reality of the web is that no-one has had to pay for music if they really don’t want to for over a decade now.

FesterBesterTesterFrom Mr Anthony Chester’s angry voicemail voice I get that he’s probably a bit pissed off.  So fucking what?  If he had any empathy then he’d sharpish realise how pissed off everyone (including the dead members) in the band are.  He obviously has no empathy.

Raging he was.  I may upload the audio here so folks can see both sides of what goes on?  But for now, I know how old we all are and the likely physical appearance because of this.  I know what I look like, it’s on my website!  It matches the view in the mirror most of the time.  Apart from the derogatory nickname that Jeff invented for Eddie (Fatso) no-one on this website was ever called “fat” as claimed by Mr Anthony Chester [I had to check using phpAdmin to be sure though!  One never knows].  Neither was anyone actually described as “bald”.

So to clarify: the words on this website are as accurate as possible but since I’ve been the main contributor and I’m trying to make sense of ever-distant events it could be my opinion until I know otherwise.  I can change my opinion, but on this particular topic there’s no rush yet.


Chester DIP Copyright
Chester DIP Copyright

Maybe Mr Anthony Chester is confused?  In his voicemail rant he mentioned going on about who played what on what tracks?  Maybe he is thinking of the illegally attributed “Danger In Paradise”, which is attributed to Crawling Chaos.  It is available here on Amazon, say.

True, many Crawling Chaos members had a hand in it and it has artistic merit (though that is not the point at all), but no-one in Crawling Chaos, who played as Crawling Chaos, would actually attribute it so.  No-one.  Not one fucking person.

In hindsight,

  • Maybe it could have been attributed to Danger in Paradise since many tracks are already on the previously released Last Pose, both including the eponymous track anyway?
  • Maybe, as many bands do when they collaborate as in say “x feat. y” (so that people are clear about what happened during the work’s creation) it could have been like Danger In Paradise feat. A Truncated Crawling Chaos or Danger In Paradise & Friends or Danger In Paradise collab. Foetus Products & Friends or something like that?
  • Maybe it should’ve been called “The Last Pose 2” or “The Last Pose, Resurrection” by Danger in Paradise, my obvious choice?
The Last Pose
The Last Pose

But no, it was none of that.

And for all those who did play on the tracks (which Mr Anthony Chester angrily voice-mailed saying he could name), where is the fucking money?   Less bluster, less false hurt, more actual doing what should have been done in the first place.


Maybe Mr Anthony Chester is angry about these words regarding CC & DIP where I formerly said at the end of the Myths page?

“…but it was not ever Crawling Chaos and to tag the two bands together is plain deceit.”

Not nice, I know. But hopefully, the preceding words clarify the deceit that I see in front of me, and others, though they have not admitted it so here, only to me personally and in emails.  I have clarified the sentiment after considering the above words. It’s now politer, and clearer.


And yes, Mr Anthony Chester, for all those downloads, where exactly is the fucking money?  Quoting directly from an email from Jeff to me,

I see where you’re coming from believe me, but Anth asked me for my permission to put the LTM re-releases on iTunes and collect the proceeds on behalf of us all yonks ago, so that isn’t devious behaviour to me for what that’s worth. – Jeff Crowe

  • Q. So what does it all mean?
  • A. Where’s the fucking money?


  • It is deceitful to publish works without permission from an artist – e.g Nice & Chester never asked me, or Jeff for that matter.
  • It is deceitful to claim copyright where none exists – e.g. Chester’s obvious deceit in the screenshots above
  • It is deceitful to attribute works to another artist – i.e Chester attributing his collaborative works (that all who joined were certain was under the DIP moniker) to Crawling Chaos
  • It is deceitful to boost one’s own works by false flagging artists without their permission on works – i.e Chester attributing his works to Crawling Chaos
  • It is deceitful to withhold payments to artists – i.e. all the download works for which artists performing-as or contributing-to works managed by Mr Anthony Chester

Now in all of this documenting of the band (The) Crawling Chaos, I (sp) have tried to maintain a banter much like the days when the band was extant – not this post though, there’s little banter so pissed off with the bloke am I.  Anyway, in banter mode there were a host of nicknames and epithets bandied around, some alcohol fuelled…..  For the most of the time I was just called Rees, but stupid cunt happened many times… Knackerdan was another good one.  It was the same when Jeff and I were at school – we both got called stuff we didn’t like – I was called twizzle, moustacho, fartin-martin (clever, eh?  I even got called that in The Cumberland Arms by some of the coterie, can’t remember who; it does not matter one bit.) &c.  Jeff got particularly annoyed when only certain people called him Harry, some he didn’t mind.  Funny that.  Chester got his nickname from Jeff, baldy.

So fucking what?  It’s all part of the Pitmatic Test, Chester being one of the failures.

Mr Anthony Chester seems (IMHO) to have a very thin skin on this point yet still uses this as a blustering pretext for obfuscation of his ongoing deceits, which really, would not take much time to fix on his part.

As I have already said,

  • I have created the website from opinions and facts which are compiled from many sources.
  • When something changes and I discover otherwise, I change my opinion, or it gets reinforced.  This is one essence of Buddhism – the freedom to have an opinion and the freedom to be allowed to change an opinion without chastisement.  n.b. an opinion is different to an idea, say like having an idea to create a law to take away poor people’s money is wholly different to having an opinion about taking poor people’s money away.
  • I change the website following further information, omissions, typos and yes, correcting some things that are not as clear as they should be.

But one thing I am clear on is that Mr Anthony Chester, IMHO, has not changed, despite his talk of meditation, Buddhism and the like, some years ago by telephone as deflectionary words of appeasement to me.

Libel, malicious falsehood.  Look them up.  As I see it, I know where they are (as a reminder, check the beginning of this posting).

I advise Mr Anthony Chester not to pull the history thread hanging from the Crawling Chaos t-shirt and quickly fix things at his end – then magically,  under The Principle of 3000 realms in a Single Moment, opinions will change and personal irritations will disappear.  Maybe his karma will get fixed?  I sincerely hope so.  Really, I do.

One final thing Chester, don’t call, don’t visit.  The contact form on this website will be my only method of dialogue with you until things change.  You have no idea how pissed off I am with your petty chest puffing, and auditory dialogue, for now, is right out.  Paraphrasing Jeff in his first email to me:

Q: What’s the difference between Mr Anthony Chester and a bucketful of phlegm?

A: The bucket.

flotsam jetsam

You see, Anth?  It’s not just about “the music”.  It’s about everything.

      The voice of Peter Cook

Doomage Speaks!

Below is the complete text of a letter to Strangely Perfect from Doomage Khult received today, 3 April 2008.

As you will read, it’s asked that the letter be published in full or not at all. This wish has of course been accommodated.

Dear Mr Perfect

I think it’s about time I chucked in my tuppence-worth into the pot.

When I heard that The Gas Chair was about to be re-released on LTM, naturally I became curious. Some elementary detective work led me on the trail of Anth Chester, so I contacted him and he filled me in on the details – James Nice, a former employee of Factory Benelux had found half of the master tapes of said album and had asked for Anth’s permission to rip off one side of an original vinyl for a re-issue. I understand that he was given a £250 advance for this, which I stress he split with Holly 50-50 and in the process acquired the master tape of Homunculus Equinox.

So far so good I thought – after all Anth and Holly did play their parts in those recordings which nobody can deny. What I didn’t know about at that time were the “bonus” tracks, and I was a bit peeved about the inclusion of Sex Machine and Berlin of which you know neither of them had anything to do with. But by the time I found that out, it was a Done Deal in Production and I childishly decided to keep my opinionated trap shut. Be clear though, I’m not dissing Holly – after your departure strangely we didn’t forlornly shamble about in the woods waiting in vain for the return of the messiah, but continued our long and increasingly productive creative partnership.

To resume; not being bothered about getting any remuneration (I don’t need it – just as well as I haven’t received a penny), I thought it would be fun to focus on the reaction to our material some twenty years on. Like yourself I am intensely proud of all our Art and was pretty chuffed to see that it polarized the critics just as much as the first time around and thus hadn’t dated at all.

Anyway opinions are one thing and facts and assumptions are quite distinct beasts altogether. Your colourful tale of a lightning strike inducing some subtle sinister change to my personality (a storyline that surely would have been warmly welcomed by the writers of Murder She Wrote) is absolutely hilarious – in particular the increasing abuse of spirits aspect. I do seem to recall we had a very productive ale micro-brewery in place at Beside(sic) Hall which formed the bulk of our alcohol consumption in situ; but I don’t remember pouring any hard liquor down my throat either there or at any of the public hostelries. Mind you, if you mean communing with spirits – that is a different kettle of fish of which I admit to unreservedly.

It never ceases to amaze me how certain folk project shadows of their own failings onto others: I would put it to you that a more plausible cause for any perceived change of character that someone as thick-skinned as yourself may have picked up on:- was that I’d become utterly pissed off with your habitual indolence. What also rankles is your over-inflated opinion of your personal contributions to Waqqaz – being so important to the process that you are blissfully unaware of who the drummer actually was (no it wasn’t ‘Clinka’ – I’d sacked him by then, no it wasn’t ‘George (?)’ either, or anyone else that you mention for that matter)?

I rest my case m’lud.

For the record, the primary reason why I don’t want to waste my time talking to the likes of yourself (and that doesn’t equate to being a recluse), dates back to the day you paid a little flying visit to Bebside and purloined approximately two-thirds of my album collection – a heinous crime to perpetrate on a music lover, as I’m sure you’ll agree, selective or crap memory notwithstanding.

On a more positive note I am pleased that you intend to get everything out into the public domain, that’s just great – go for it. I can think of no more appropriate place than your website, and I do mean that most sincerely. I’m in possession of the entire Chaos tape archive (including videos) and would be keen to hand it all over to your most worthy cause, but the very thought of meeting up with such a dishonourable chap as yourself makes me feel slightly queasy.

Q: What’s the difference between Strangely Perfect and a bucketful of phlegm?

A: The bucket.

I thank you: Please feel free to publish this communication in its entirety on your website, or print it out and stuff it up your arse; whatever takes your fancy.

Regards, Doomsie.


Crawling Chaos History: Myths passing as Truth, revealed


The Crawling Chaos started in Ashington, Northumberland in the UK by two young men, soon to be Doomage Khult and Strangely Perfect who met at the local school years ago, sharing an interest in astronomy, music, gloomy science and horror fantasy novels and science itself.  Keith Wear had a key role in design & encouragement in all things at this time.

Doomage Khult
Doomage Khult

Doomage acquired a BSc Physics Hons (First Class) whereas Strangely, in one of his habitual depressions jacked his university physics course in to work and get money.
Skills in music and electronics coupled with the punk explosion in 1976 led them commit to the creation of a proper band together.

Strangely Perfect
Strangely Perfect

By early 78 they’d set up music & studio equipment and developed techniques as the gear was made, writing compositions but without a clear idea of personnel requirements. A reasonably clear idea of styles and attitudes was in place.

At this time, though Keith was keen he wasn’t really good enough to be partners and his life was taking another route anyway. The name was chosen around 77 because it sounded good being a partial homage to H P Lovecraft and his Cthulhu Mythos  and also because it had ambiguity since Strangely had not managed to read it all the way through despite several attempts because he was usually too drunk to finish it. The name stood out from band names of the time, it sounded dangerous and gloomy and for the two young men it had derived kudos. Thus started THE CRAWLING CHAOS although the definite article was usually dropped. It was supposed to be an actual creature of nightmares, but see here for more on that.
Mutual friends led them to end up dossing on the floor of Eddie Fenn after a drunken night at a Lurkers gig in Whitley Bay. The Attic Studios were quickly established in Eddie Fenn’s flat which included knocking a huge great hole through from one room to the next.  n.b. The mutual friend (Jim from Durrim), appears as the title but not the subject of the song “Wee Jimmy”.



Attic Studios

Google Maps - Bridge Hotel, Newcastle
Google Maps – Bridge Hotel, Newcastle

A recording and live performance band followed with a core of Errol Dynamic on (Keith’s) drums until they were nicked, Doomage Khult on guitar, Strangely Perfect on keyboards and vocals. Engineering, mixage and production were handled by Strangely and Doomage. Two bass players joined and left in rapid succession, Steve Smooth and Dave Cook.

Bridge Hotel, Newcastle
Bridge Hotel, Newcastle

The first gig was at the Bridge Hotel in Newcastle, near the Keep, on the first floor inside the bay window. (The picture was taken by Strangely in 2002). At this time the band were gigging at least twice a week in places such as The Gosforth Hotel upstairs with Arthur 2-Stroke’s mob, The Noise Toys, or Spectro Art Workshop down Bell’s Court off Pilgrim Street, Newcastle.
The “sound” changed during this period due to the demands of gigging from the original avant-garde free-flowing jams to include more tightly worked new wave pieces. The “sets” very often were created on an ad-hoc basis dependant on the audience and how the band were feeling at the time. Numbers would be shouted out and with a few quick nods they’d be played. Sometime it’d be “JAM” and off we’d go.
Many of the coterie of helpers and followers of Crawling Chaos appeared at this time.  In human relations, Crawling Chaos and their ilk used the pitmatic test. Survivors of the ordeal ended up as mates. Everyone was free to do their own thing. The only penalty would be ridicule if you did something daft.


The Nothin’ Connection

Holly & Paul
Holly & Paul

Following an advert in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle for a bass player, with the tag line “we are sick of straight jerks jacking it in”, Holly joined the ensemble.


He and some school friends from Seaton Deleval, Paul Shields, Guzzle and Fen (Michael Fenwick) had a band called Nothin’ performing Holly’s music and co-written lyrics from Shieldsy.
The Nothin’ connection would continue, some tunes becoming part of The Crawling Chaos’s repertoire and the bands (and other connections) performing on the same bills.

Introduction to Factory

Rod Griffith
Rod Griffith

Strangely Perfect played grass hockey for a team called Northumbria (now re-named!).   One co-player was the newsreader from the local commercial TV station, Tyne-Tees TV (soon to start the influential show, “The Tube”).   His name was Rod Griffith.   It turns out that he is source for the Chris Donald character, Roger Melly, the man on the telly.  He was a lovely man.  Truly.

Tony Bulley on Grundy/Sex Pistols interview credits

Crawling Chaos had organised a show at the Rex Hotel in Whitley Bay.  Strangely asked Rod, semi-tongue-in-cheek (as I never expected a positive response – SP), if he’d like to buy some tickets for himself and his TV chums……         He took a wodge (!), and bizarrely, about a dozen straight-looking TV types turned up to the gig, where they witnessed the normal show of the time which included Strangely stripping to his long-johns, Doomage alternately sneering at and showing off to everyone and Errol sweating a lot.
After the show, one particular guy said he really liked the performance, to phone his mate and to say that he, Tony Bulley, thought we were good and that his mate, Tony Wilson should give us a listen as he’d just started a record company called Factory Records. Strangely remembered that Bulley was the director on the infamous Sex Pistols/Grundy live interview (I nearly always read the credits! reference), and also knew of Wilson from his earlier time in Wales watching Wilson’s TV show in the Granada TV area showing artists like Iggy Pop, Joy Division and The Sex Pistols.
So I (SP) phoned Wilson up, and So It Goes, as Tony Wilson’s excellent show on TV was called at the time…

Factory Records

Demos were sent to Factory. Twat Hannett (Hannet link now points to Wayback Machine since the current page is full of shite gobbledegook) took an immediate dislike to The Crawling Chaos possibly because he had no control over the band apart from exerting negative forces from afar. An alternative view from Doomage is that he actually didn’t believe it was possible for us to get “Sex Machine” as good as it was and is… He exploded in the end.

Leigh Festival Poster - Kevin Cummings scan
Leigh Festival Poster – Kevin Cummings scan

Picture of stage at 1979 Leigh Festival (FAC 15)
Picture of stage at 1979 Leigh Festival (FAC 15)

Tony Wilson was impressed and decided that they’d want to see us so he said if we could get to Leigh for a open-air festival he’d organised, (he DID say all this, that’s what he was like), he’d put us on. So we did. (these previous links contain interesting info on the business practices of Factory/Tony that have also emerged in other areas – we should have guessed then… The comments by Chris Miller are especially salient). (see here also – added on 31/10/2007)
We filled a coach from Target with our fans and went to Leigh. I think we were on just before OMD. This was the day that Billy Connolly drank a beer can of Doomage piss (he’d used it as a toilet) on the coach journey, remarking that the beer tasted warm… The day was a typical absolutely freezing bank holiday, audience minimal but reaction good despite the conditions.

Angst In East Lancs Wasteland
Angst In East Lancs Wasteland

The subsequent headline in a UK music paper was Angst in East Lancs Wastelandwhich was about right considering the situation on a disused dark grey pit heap (this is no criticism of the real organisers or the area; it’s just the way it was).


Tony’s blagging did get us on though as there were a heap of bands that didn’t pass Mrs Miller’s selection process! I’ve posted an article here about a visit to Tony Wilson’s house in Glossop.

FAC17 Original Factory front cover for Sex Machine
FAC17 Original Factory front cover for Sex Machine

After much delay due to Arty-Farty Wilson and the other creative media types having control over the sleeve design the single “Sex Machine” was released. The control was such that a highly expensive metal embossing master was needed to pump out the cardboard. This was reputed to be £700 alone at 1980 prices. The first run sold out in less than a fortnight pushing the record close to the top of the indie chart despite the embossing being flattened out when the records were stacked up at the warehouse.
They were so cash-strapped that another batch couldn’t be made until they got some Joy Division money in. So the £700 master was a complete and utter waste and the fast sales and heightened demand could not be capitalised on so all momentum was lost. Apparently, the design was the second one they had in mind (this was FAC 27, even though the catalogue numbers are out of sequence). Who knows how much the first one would’ve cost (presumably they chose the cheap one). It’s ironic (or maybe just karma), that Factory was brought down by the album cover cost for a New Order thing in 1992.
At least Tony Wilson plugged away to get it out though. The hidden dark machinations of Rob Gretton maybe started about then. It was a Tony Wilson riposte to one of his previous wheedlings that produced the “joke” at the Russell Club video of this has now been rmoved

Russell Club Gig Reference
Russell Club Gig Reference

(In case the  ‘joke is dead, use this link from the Wayback Machine) (added 29/11/11: seems to be folding so this is a screenshot of the webpage)
During the long delay before record release, the distrust towards Factory started. Among the demos, was a politically motivated tune, penned by Strangely Perfect called “Mary Whitehouse” about the whiter than white whinger of the time by that name. This was written in 1977 while Strangely was working in a fibreglass factory in Welshpool, Powys.
The key guitar hook of the tune was identical to the Joy Division (who virtually co-habited with Factory at the time) guitar in the single “She’s Lost Control”. CC said JD had pinched it although now, since examining the time-lines, it looks like a case of parallel evolution and that Jeff and me were completely mistaken with the source of our ire.

Gas Chair Clown (a.k.a. The Gas Chair) front cover
Gas Chair Clown (a.k.a. The Gas Chair) front cover

Further mistrust followed when Factory “lost” some of the masters for the follow up LP;      then the LP had to be re-mixed in an expensive Newcastle studio adding to costs which were taken into account when splitting the ‘profits’ as was normal Factory practice;     then it was postponed;      then it was finally put out on the graveyard Disque du Crepescule (twilight or semi-darkness in French) label (aka Factory Benelux).


They mucked this up as well, changing the carefully crafted anagram-title of “Gas Chair Clown” to “The Gas Chair”.


Wacky cover though!    Needless to say, the cash generated was piss-poor and all momentum to the band was lost due to the back room machinations of key Factory personnel.

The Pits Studio

Pits Studio Address
Pits Studio Address

Errol Dynamic left to live in Manchester during this period but before “Gas Chair Clown” was released. Another contact with a local band called “Danger in Paradise” led to a mutual agreement to start Foetus Products in the basement of Baldy Chester’s flat in Tynemouth. (more)


Foetus Products' Studio Drum Booth
Foetus Products’ Studio Drum Booth

Rough booths were constructed and when finances permitted, another room was anechoic-ally kitted out with loads of headache inducing thixofix glue keeping it together, lagged and double glazed drum/vocals booth and wired in mike and headphone circuits.
The studio was up to four-track tape by now at 15″ per second.with 2 track master at 30″ per second.


This period saw the recording of lots of material which would appear later on “Gas Chair Clown”, “Homunculus Equinox”, “The Big C” and “The Last Pose” LPs as well as “The Blonde Etheopian”(sic) EP featuring lots of tracks by the old “Nothin'” ensemble and performed mainly by those members.
The “Gas Chair Clown” was released on the Factory Benelux offshoot. It contained material recorded at the Pits and at the Attic. The wacky cover was by The Belgian artist, Denyse Willem, who has done loads of stuff in a similar vein. I like it.


When some royalties came in, all the members of Foetus Products (and a few liggers) had a celebration meal cooked on Chester’s manky old gas stove. It was roast chicken. It was “The First Foetus Feast”! And jolly nice it was too.

Homunculus Equinox
Homunculus Equinox

Only the EP and “Homunculus Equinox” were released by Foetus Products during “The Pits” occupation. “The Last Pose” was produced mainly by Chester as a vehicle for some of his tunes from DIP days. It was released after Crawling Chaos had left the premises, dividing equipment and severing Chester from any Foetus Products business.

Later, Chester managed to acquire some original master tapes – which is the output re-issued on CD by the LTM label.  He did not contact me regarding the CD production or royalties for these issues or anything since 1985, save to complain later to me about mentioning these facts on these and other web pages. Further on-line releases are his doings, mainly sourced from “The Last Pose”;    The door to The Pits never opens when I’ve knocked though the lights are on;   I am told to phone when I’m in the area but am turned down just before arriving;   The email, in this digitally connected age, “doesn’t work”;    What am I to think?   What would you think?

Bebside Hall Studio

Following the general decline in relations and then fall-out with Chester, premises were obtained in a wing of Bebside Hall, Northumberland. (To be strictly accurate, although the address was 1 Bebside Hall, it was actually part of the outbuildings for the Old Hall, long demolished). A certain local notoriety had obviously evolved when a postcard arrived from local Newcastle band Freak Electric (Lorna and Ian, along with Moyly and George) addressed simply to “The Noisy House, Bebside“.  (n.b. Later, Bebside Hall was demolished and is now a block of apartments.  The ruins feature on the cover of Spookhouse.)


The Big C
The Big C

During this period all the later output was recorded and the last vinyl material published for public consumption.    This was “The Big C” and “Waqqaz” (although various other compilations were published by the remaining and alternate members this was the last vinyl output). “The Big C” contained material recorded at the Pits and Bebside Hall. The output was much more professional than previous relying on new tighter scripts rather than reworked old recordings and edits of jam sessions for avant-garde effect. Crawling Chaos continued to confound the critics.


Strangely Perfect, deluding himself with his excessive lifestyle, left the band, at least until his head cleared as it was killing him. He went to France for six months with his soon-to-be 1st wife working casually (although he always had a core belief that his work with Crawling Chaos was incomplete).
For five years Crawling Chaos continued with varying levels of activity and membership around a core of Doomage and Holly. This later period is still relatively poorly documented. Live shows in Europe and elsewhere continued and a video was produced (now found). The release of creative work in tape format, similar to the previous “shouting at dozy twats” and Homunculus Equinox but in compilation form, continued, mainly through EE Tapes. Tuva was one of the nom de chanson at this time for Crawling Chaos who had by now a very floating membership. Other local bands used the studios and mentions of this and recordings can sometimes be found on the net.

No further vinyl releases were made following Strangely’s departure.

“Waqqaz” was the last album containing Strangely’s contributions. It took a lot of effort to produce, and we all really believe it is contains works of creativity that the world will recognize eventually. He is very proud of Crawling Chaos and is honoured to have worked with all of the different members of the band.

Later Info

Doomage occasionally spoke to Strangely since those times, finally expressing his initial feelings completely here.  He unfortunately and surprisingly died in 2010 following several years of optimistic letter writing ‘tween him and me, Strangely, using his partner Jackie’s email address.
Holly continued working at Bebside until the landlord kicked him oot. After a period working in Holland, he returned to the North-East of England and records and occasionally entertains as one half of The Symptoms (latterly 400 Vulcans). Strangely and Holly have been in contact since July 2007 and Holly has been a good source for archival material and correcting errors therein.
Mr Excess, after bizarrely returning to our roots, making videos and helping others in the community, finally (and sadly for me) reached the Carlsberg induced oblivion he craved in December 2009.
Errol Dynamic (The Honourable Ted) probably won’t speak to anyone again. He’s happy with his own stuff, having previously worked with Mark Riley and the Creepers.
Haircut hung himself, which was weird – and very sad.
The information about band members following Strangely’s departure has been provided by Holly & Doomage and can be found here.
Strangely Perfect, back in the UK in 86,  started landscape gardening but stopped that when it became too dangerous, then ran a delivery business and news agency with his wife, got his Class One HGV, spun wheels for some years while raising a family and then created custom SQL and VBA code for a foreign-owned business leeching from the NHS and its employees until he saw the light.  He now lives in France (where he should have stayed 30 years ago).

He now manages this website and all band communications.


Recent Releases

Spookhouse Cover
Spookhouse – the final issue

Spookhouse was finally released in 2012. Thanks go to Erik in Belgium.

n.b. Jeff wanted it called the pitmatic “Spookhoose” but Holly insisted it was called Spookhouse and since Jeff was by now dead and I figure only as a creative trigger on a track or so, Spookhouse it is.  It’s a cracking piece of plastic to own.  The artwork is from shots of the time.

To enlarge on a previous mention, the value of who-did-what only becomes an issue when rights and status are purloined from their natural home. ‘Twas ever thus in music and art. The two CD issues of earlier tapes and discs were released in several ways, depending on the author of the story, each author having their own particular gripe.

For myself, Strangely Perfect, I was not consulted on this by anyone. My gripes are post story and the dastardly deeds are done – except some fucker has raked up the ashes.

Downloadable art is another issue though.

  • Sex Machine and Berlin were (according to Jeff in an email to me which I still have) stolen to big up the Gas Chair Clown CD by Baldy Chester and Mr Nice.  Jeff said to me when I found out how this corruption of truth occurred,
    • “When I heard that The Gas Chair was about to be re-released on LTM, naturally I became curious. Some elementary detective work led me on the trail of Anth Chester, so I contacted him and he filled me in on the details – James Nice, a former employee of Factory Benelux had found half of the master tapes of said album and had asked for Anth’s permission to rip off one side of an original vinyl for a re-issue. I understand that he was given a £250 advance for this, which I stress he split with Holly 50-50 and in the process acquired the master tape of Homunculus Equinox.So far so good I thought – after all Anth and Holly did play their parts in those recordings which nobody can deny. What I didn’t know about at that time were the “bonus” tracks, and I was a bit peeved about the inclusion of Sex Machine and Berlin of which you know neither of them had anything to do with. But by the time I found that out, it was a Done Deal in Production and I childishly decided to keep my opinionated trap shut. Be clear though, I’m not dissing Holly…” – Jeff Crowe

      – this info is not hidden and has always been on this site.  Jeff’s ‘bit peeved’ is the irony we had as schoolmates.  Translate it as fucking fuming as he said to me in a later phone call, plus other not-niceties.

  • Art started by Baldy Chester was unceremoniously bunged as the first two tracks of the Homunculus Equinox CD to big up Chester’s ego, or if not, why?…  However, my keyboard, Jeff’s guitar and our sound effects and production turn what were two dismal tracks into something a bit more special.
  • A similar situation exists with the on-line-only release of the cul-de-sac that was called Crawling Chaos/Danger in Paradise, though not by me (SP).  True, as Jeff again said to me in an email, both Jeff and I played and added to Baldy Chester’s creations (Jeff forgot to mention the others I guess), but it was not ever Crawling Chaos.
  • To build on the above as Jeff’s comment says just above, Baldy, though not playing live, did artistic contributions on some of the first two Crawling Chaos albums’ content.  A multitude of recordings were done in The Pits Studio that overlapped in time with various personnel, but it was always understood that the performance artists amalgamated into separate entities from the public domain releases of materiel, yet at the same time those on each recording would “receive their cut”, as it’s said…    Maybe this post explains more about why this line is here and why the end has changed a bit…?

n.b. There is a large amount of unreleased material of jams, experiments, tests and versions.

At some point in the near future as tempus fugit, I will release all the emails I’ve had between Jeff and myself in a readable form.  For me(sp), personally, it was to my eternal relief that Jeff and I communicated after many years gap, but also, it’s to my everlasting chagrin that we never again met face to face.

For further information, please use the contact form on this website here.

Tempus Fugit

Much Later Info

The recent death of Jackie, Jeff’s partner and through whose systems I had to communicate with the self-confessed Luddite that he was in these matters, is very sad. There have been a few happenings like this this past year. As the end of my sixth decade approaches it makes one think. As Jeff’s mam said to me this morning (29/5/2015),

Live life to the full because you never know what life will bring tomorrow. Those two went early, but they had happy lives together.

She then went on to ask about my ageing mam, which is what we do. Nichiren, a 13th century Japanese guy concludes in, “The Problem to Be Pondered Night and Day” – a brilliant read actually, from top to bottom…

You must not spend your lives in vain and regret it for ten thousand years to come.

…which is what Jeff’s mam said, in a different way. George Harrison said something similar.


Because the text is by me, Strangely Perfect, by definition, the information is skewed to my viewpoint using my memories of my personal experiences. But this transcript is open to continuous edit because nothing in this universe is constant and new information and opinions continuously surface like matter spontaneously arises from the quantum soup. I’ve included all of this as it’s been presented to me. Whatever has been written is probably an order of magnitude short. Or not.

– Strangely Perfect.


Sex Machine

I’ve got a brand new pair of genes

I’ve been to the doc, he’s got the means

He’s turned me into a Sex Machine

He’s given me a pair of enormous balls

That could even fill the Festival Hall

With schoolgirls *screaming* for more and more (*sometimes creaming or even squeaming*)

I’m going to the doctor’s

It’s easy you see

No need for operations

And you’ll know how it feels

Penises Costume
I’ve got pricks on my…

Tomorrow I get my hands done

With fifteen fingers and a phallic thumb

I’ll rattle the girls till they come and come

The stomach lining change has really done the trick

It brews alcohol and give me kicks

And makes me have supersonic sicks


I’ve got pricks on my toes and one on my nose

And some on my back that nobody knows

And the one I got first still grows and grows

I’ve got a set of clits hanging in my ear

I went to the doc to get a smear

He told me I had gonorrhoea


I nuclear prick is hidden up my bum

I tried it on a lady who likes some fun

And she got blown to kingdom come




I’ll send away for anything free

Coz coffee doesn’t interest me

Doo-Doo, doo doo, doo doo

I’m afraid to eat my tea

Oh! but I love saucers

Spinning on bendy sticks

Harry Secombe’s coming to tea (twice) (later changed to: Carry beacons
into the sea)

Merry Christmas, Prince Charles (*Original Version. Remake will have currently relevant lyrics) – it’s got to be done coz he’s a twat

Christmas is coming

The pigs are getting fat

Gonna put some coppers

In the coppers hat

The kids all join the navy

They want a royal kiss

Peter, Mark, Andrew’s what they’re called

I’m so happy it’s Christmas

Merry Christmas Prince Charles

Merry Christmas Prince Charles

Merry Christmas Prince Charles

Merry Christmas Prince Charles

Our Captain rides horses

He also rides Ann

Puftas don’t make queens

They only make fancy men

Make sure you’ve got some money

Keep it all

Don’t give it to charity

Just to the Policeman’s Ball

(Chorus) followed by indeterminate length guitar solo and audience posturing when performed live


You’ve got a father who’s no better

He’s just a greasy wop from Greece

The people all look up to him

And his Gold Award Scheme

Make sure you’ve got some money

Keep it all

Don’t give it to charity

Just to the Policeman’s Ball

(Chorus) x2 at least

Loofas (track appears unlisted as what would be track 4 on LTM print of Homunculus Equinox)

I’ve got loofas at home in a bag

I’ve got loofas on the 442

I take loofas to my grandpa’s grave

I’ll bring loofas to you


Mummy’s Tummy

Sitting in my womb

Feels like I’m growing in a tomb

Cos she’s my mummy and I’m living in her tummy

Mummy’s tummy! Mummy’s Tummy!

Sitting in my womb

Feels like so cozy

Can’t breathe much in here

Connected by a tube

Sitting in my mummy’s tummy

Trying to suck my thumb

I’m in my mummy’s tummy

It’s mummy’s tummy

I’m in my mummy’s tummy etc etc etc etc etc



Ashen Face,

Ashen Face, powder white venture


Clack’n Hair

Clack’n Hair says things, clack! clack!

Roger’s okay

Roger’s alright

Roger’s just fine


Ashen Face,

Ashen Face, powder white venture



I haven’t got time for the fashion pages

The dressed up tarts get me in a rage

The monetary men can leave me alone

‘Cos I don’t have money and I don’t have a car

Well the motoring column can stay where it is

In between the weather and the gossip columnists.

Oh the Marchioness of Sh-shit is doing all right

She’s off on holiday where the weather is “rather nice”

She fancies a singer who’s divorce is almost through

But he likes an old flame who’s inherited some glue.

I haven’t got time for the stock exchange buffs

In their pin-striped suits they’re a load of puffs

You’ve got to have money to make a bomb

So why the hell won’t they give me some?

It’s not for me that I whinge and moan

Just the good of the nation, I mean

I’m on the dole.

Oh I hate the tarts in their revealing skirts

They won’t show their cunts

What a load of flirts

Its’s all so nice

It’s all so cute

Here’s the new line for the spring that’s due.

Profitability is a sign of the times

You’ve got to keep on working for the rest of your lives

Now the tories are in ( Alt: If the tories get in)

It’s alright for the surgeons (Alt: It’ll be alright for the surgeons)

But us on the dole we’ll be cutting grass verges.

It’s true.

The Outsider

Desolation could be gaining on me

It’s all fancy

Corruption around the next bend


The knife grazes the temple

Just glancing

I’m a clapped-out, stinking miasma

I don’t think Mary cares for me.

Well I guess I’ve just wasted my life

Flickin’ through magazines thinking I might

Gonna take out a nightmare trip

Do summat to find some kicks

Desolation could be gaining on me

It’s all fancy

Corruption around the next bend


All I Need is a Love that Burns (also called Pleasure)

All I need is a love that burns

All I need is a girl that’s hot

All I need is another day

Because that’s all I got

I’m not for you

I’m not for you

I’m not for you

I’m just for me……

…eaning what you say doesn’t bother me

Give me all your money and run away

Telling all your friends about a man you once knew

Running to your mummy like I just don’t know



Like a Turkish Pirate

I fall lame

With every chance that I get

But the weals on my back make me forget

Never able to stand up

Urbane Encounter
Like a Crawling Chaos
Like a Crawling Chaos

Crawling through the centre of the screaming souls

I can’t tell the time like the way I should

I can’t wait long I’m only twenty-two

By the time I get out I’ll be turning blue

And you know how it feels to be locked in a zoo

Well, I feel like a suicide’s death bed

You people step on me and you don’t care

You’re only rushing home for your tea

You’re only doing the same as me

I lean against a wall to collect my thoughts

I get swept along in the surging throng

I don’t use money – I use credit cards

In all the shops with the security guards

I’ve gotta get out before the shops close down

I don’t want to get locked in the dosser’s town

Insane Domain, it’s crawling with bird brains

You can’t complain, when the place is a shit drain

You double your chances of catching the louse

When you walk out the door to the mad-house

Ah, morbid thoughts rushing through my mind

As the people scratch past as they run out of time

The subways are packed right out to the seams

By a glutinous mob who’ve spent past their means

In boutiques – and cafes – and hi-fi stores

But let’s see you show me the dirty book store

And there’s no reason for me to stay

Well, I didn’t want to come here in the first place

Ah well, I only came to buy a pound of pears

And I’m gonna be here for years and years, and years.

When the Muzak starts I just can’t stop

Thinking about all the tunes of grot

And up at the bar where the sporty types forage

It’s eighty-four pence for a pint of orange

The security guards stalk round and round

And it’s out on your arse if you don’t fit with the crowd

Strobe lights and fashionable bars

There’s no place to park your car

The smell of the cafes, it makes me want to puke

And you’ll easy get out if you’ll only look, well look!

* A Fifth verse, later omitted, went as follows:

Santas on windows with sprayed-on snow

And plastic reindeer with nose aglow!

Velkom tir Nordski, all over the place

The money situation’s a shocking disgrace

And little children try to head you in the fly

And old ladies with umbrellas try to poke out your eye

This referred to the fashion at Xmas for Northumberland Street in Newcastle to be plastered with Norwegian slogans as well as the normal festive stuff. This was due to the then favourable exchange rate with Norway, so Norwegians arrived in their droves. I’ve included this verse even though it was crap because it features in one of the first live recordings. This will be in the streamed audio section soon enough. It WAS funny for a bit, though – like, you know.


Get off your heart

Get off your soul

Win the race

Makes you feel small

It’s the end

Of a soul

It’s the end

Of us all

I can smell the worms coming

I can smell the worms coming




Repeat ad infinitum until satisfied, etc etc etc

Jhonn’s Angel
John Dee and Edward Kelley evoking a spirit.
John Dee and Edward Kelley evoking a spirit.

Flies gather around

Her festering eyes

In the ferns where she lies

Scry Auriel Scry

Beltane Beltane

The Kingdom of flies

Turn Altair henbane

Twist as you burn

In the smokescreen of wings

Saliva tentacle clings

For Ujiji

Beltane Beltane

In the Kingdom of flies

**Recent information from Mr Vex Dhole has cast light on what should have been original lyrics to this track, that should have referred to Dee and Kelly.  Hence the creepy picture… WooooH.

*** Extra info also suggests another case of Flambard and his snow covered boulder.  Lyrics altered to suit.

Frauline le Moine

Vulnerable clocks keep turning

When the blue soul rises dilly-dilly

Pewter jugs rust in France

He used to say I’d lost my teepee

Danny Slater is bianco

Festooned in his mama’s blanket

Good lordy me! I’ll have to impale ya

Stab and burn your red regalia

Blokies wear hair laquer in the Deuchars, oh!

Throwing Pins

I’m throwin’ pins, I’m throwin’ pins

I’m throwin’ pins all over the ground

I’m throwin’ pins, I’m throwin’ pins

I’m throwin’ pins all over the ground

Throwin' Pins Lyrics
Throwin’ Pins Lyrics

Well I’ve been throwing pins now

I’ve travelled all around

I’ve been right up the country and then I came back down

I’ve never had such fun

In the whole of my life

And when I get more experienced I’ll go onto throwing knives


It really is such fun

Throwin’ pins on the beach

Watchin’ all those people with those pins stuck in their feet

The pain those people get

It really is such a crime

And when I get more experienced I’m gonna take it up full time