Sex Machine – as robotically aloof as a rusty lawnmower

Sex Machine Review from 2008

Thus spake Jason Heller.  I particularly liked, while not being exactly correct:

FAC17 Original Factory front cover for Sex Machine

Crawling Chaos, though, was a fucking wreck. Gangling, ungainly, sloppy, self-sabotaging, murderously humorous, and perhaps mildly insane, the group appropriated the title of one of James Brown’s most archetypal funk tracks and basically took a big dump on it. Clinical detachment was the name of the game when it came to that era’s synthesizer-backed post-punk, but Crawling Chaos was about as robotically aloof as a rusty lawnmower–and “Sex Machine” is a dripping, glorious, psychosexual phantasmagoria worthy of Ballard or Cronenberg (or a precociously perverted 11-year-old). The synths are demented, the singing shrill, the beats nearly brain-dead–but it’s the lyrics alone that are worth a trip to the nut farm….

Sex Machine Disc
Sex Machine Disc

One of the nicest reviews I’ve read by miles, and shows that he’d read this website pretty thoroughly enough to grab and use some phrases creatively.

Two points though.

  • When I/we entitled the track Sex Machine I was so musically naive that I’d not even heard of James Brown!!  Maybe Jeff and Eddie did, but not me.
  • Strangely Perfect
    Strangely Perfect

    There are no synths on the track.  The sound was derived from my self-made green toota organ and destructively modified afterwards in my self-made black tube both of which can be seen in this live photo.  So not synthesised as in a Moog etc.

Spot On Description

Finally a proper review of the B-side.  There are some shit ones about by others but Jason’s, I really like:

“Berlin.” The name of that city at that time bore connotations of Lou Reed, David Bowie, and the Teutonic lockstep of Krautrock, which were all clear influences on Crawling Chaos. And they all melt into a dissonant mess all over “Berlin,” an aimlessly menacing jam that limps and burps along for seven torturous minutes before succumbing to some kind of sonic gangrene. In other words: It’s fantastic.

However, Jason’s all wrong (and it’s not his fault) when he says,

Khult and Perfect gradually drifted away from the group, although they reunited in 2003 for a new full-length titled Homunculus Equinox.

A more accurate pattern of events is now thoroughly explained on this website right here:  – and neither, even back in two thousand and 3, 8 or 17 were we still “plugging away”.

Best Bit

Despite the minor errors mainly due to myself (SP) not updating this website fast enough, it’s a gem of a review with Jason “getting” what the whole thing was about.  This is his best bit…. I’ll finish with it:

  • Crawling Chaos’ [Sex Machine] is the musical equivalent of getting punched in the groin.
  • While being forced to watch barnyard porn.
  • Starring your mom and dad.
Simpson Sex Machine
Simpson Sex Machine

Variations on a Theme of Zombie Dance


Featuring Jeff and Rees


This is Jeff and Rees alone in 1985.  Recorded not long after the drunken “Letter to America”.  It relies heavily on the ring modulator, joining a Roland synth to my old self-constructed keyboard (sp).

Essentially, it is Rees playing the keyboards after having discovered an amazing little ditty.  Jeff then twiddled various settings and mix desk controls, on the nod from Rees so that the necessary impact could be made.

It was always intended to be a base for further layerings, but in the end, it has stayed as it is.  Extra layers could still be added with judicious enveloping since the piece divides up quite well into a few sections.  Some are easily sampled for instance…  Have a go, giving credit where credit’s due….



The track lies buried on an old cassette tape.  Recently my old E-MU sound box has gone a bit odd (sounds like a failing capacitor pops) so I have had to resort to the PC’s onboard sound, which is okay, but noisier than the old E-MU.

A better “quality”, if that’s the word version  is here. The file, even as the mp3 file here is 23Mb……. The version playing is @92kbs Enjoy:




It reminds me of two things:

  1. Very much Zombie Dance (hence the title)
  2. ….and very much some old and newer Dr Who incidental music, especially with regard to the Cybermen.

For now, I find it very fitting to the angst at play in the world currently, the lies, the connivances, the wanton killings, the spying, the secretive digital governments.  All that kind of shit.

Lots of love from Rees


Images of Jeff and Rees are from a selection supplied by Pete Flynn.  Cybermen nicked off the BBC website – who cares, it’s just the tory party’s official mouthpiece now, more than ever.

Time at The Pits

Pits Studio 2015 View
Pits Studio 2015 View

The time at the Pits started with Jeff and me (Doomage & Strangely) living above it, accessed through the black door on the left in the picture which is number three.  (We were forced out of the top flat in Front Street just down the road by the landlord who wanted his property back in sensible hands…  <g> ).  The Pits is on the right.
The flat was freezing since we couldn’t afford to heat it. It had a combi-gas water heater thus I’d spend many an hour in the bath warming up.

The Towers, Killingworth
The Towers, Killingworth

The Pits was a serious pun, since it really was the pits… both up high and down below in Baldy’s flat.  True, it was a time of intense creativity, this creativity extending into the time when Jeff and me had to find another place – this was in the prison-like dwellings in Killingworth, Gazza (gary Clennel now adding to us making us a trio).  We were in C-wing…. Callaly Tower.  This had blown air heating with the front door up some stairs on another level which meant all the heat shot outside when the door was opened.  It was truly shite.

Killingworth Towers
This image from the website shows a view which is about what we’d see, day after day, coming home.

The kids used to climb up and down the pillars supporting the pathways such was the level of angst.  The pathways were extremely slippy in winter and rain.  More pictures of the shitehole can be found here.


Maxine and the Lurchers Baldy Fester Chester Bester Tester, Maxine, Doomage
Maxine and the Lurchers: Baldy Fester Bester Tester Chester, Maxine, Doomage

During this time Jeff, Gazza, Baldy, me and a young lady called Maxine formed a short-lived troupe playing covers stuff like Moonage Daydream, Heroes and Scary Monsters by Bowie (say) called Maxine & The Lurchers.  AFAIK, this is the only photie of it all.   German Filmstar comes to mind too…

Don’t it drone on…

For about a year or so, our lives were full of creativity, yet still, the pits.  Despite the creativity, there was always the brake, which naturally led to the break.

For a descriptive level of pits-ness, apart from the creativity, a highlight (for me) was one night when Gazza and myself were cycling back to C-Wing pissed up.  On passing the Earsdon roundabout I looked left and saw Gazza fall asleep and with the biggest grin on his face tip off left right across the path into the ditch/verge just past the roundabout. – (SP)

Now that was funny, oh how we larft, but it was still the pits.

See Gazza obituary.

Goat – Die or DIY?

Do You Know What Gets My Goat?

This site has a privacy policy (where I state that I’m pretty easy going for what people might say about me, The Crawling Chaos or our works – after all, comment is free….) and also a copyright statement which …er…states our copyright….

But what gets my goat is when dizzy anonymous bastards like DieOrDIY (calls himself Nick Allison) talk bullshit for commentary about reams of semi-known bands all under the guise of fair comment when all they do is upload full copyright works without either,

  1. even checking that the band has a website
  2. trying to contact the band
  3. posting the highly valuable back-links to the band’s or artist’s website

You see, if links were posted to the actual band content from where all music is listen-able and everyone can find out about the band and its music, it’d be great.

You see, if people like Nick took the time to make a video backed by a band’s music, and said where the music came from, that’d be great too.

Girly Pique
Nicki’s Girly Pique

But he’s done none of that.  (Amusingly, in a fit of girly pique while I’ve been internet-free for a month, he’s pulled his commentary and then has the sheer gall to suggest that we contact him to ask him if he’ll give us a backlink!  I tell you Nicki, try points 1, 2 and 3 above before jumping on your high horse.  Go on.  I dare you.  And while you’re at it, read the first paragraph above clearly.  You’ll then see that it’s not what you say about us that counts – it’s what you do. For those that doubt this, I posted his commentary in the original post below.  This is what Nicki now hypocritically and distorting-the-truth-ly says:


You’ll see his/her words are either in compete contradiction or a distortion of what I said.)

Lack of Honesty, Lack of Care, Lack of Integrity

Shoddy Diy Or Die
Shoddy Diy Or Die

But you see Nick, (and there are loads like “him” (he may be a girl for all I know as there are no personal details at all)),

  • finds the time to write several posts a day, and
  • finds time to transcribe from the original
  • or finds time to upload material he already has

…all to a file sharing website.

All the while, he artfully advises us to try the power of thought, whatever that may mean.

After all, his hidden persona drips out comment into the intertubes, not once referring to any artist directly but instead pointing us to their ripped-off content.  His only creation is his pointless drivel, struggling to say something when not much needs to be said.  If he chooses to fuck off back to the darkness, as many have done before him, he’ll go.  I’ve seen them many times.

Meanwhile, all the ripped-off artists remain.

Nicks says,

This is an attempt to contain an illustrated history of U.K. D.I.Y ,and anything associated with it,in one site. This can also include anything that fits the criteria of said genre, and its influences. If this makes any sense whatsoever I will be surprised,but i will attempt to make it seem like it does.

  • Nick.  I see the sense but you’ve failed.  You’re just a copy & paste merchant.   You’ve actually helped nobody.  Not one person benefits from your doodlings.  You’re not a compendium, a lexicon or encyclopaedia.  You are the weakest link.
  • Nick.  He gives it all away.  But it’s not his to give.  His name the clearest metaphor yet of what he does.


As for The Crawling Chaos, we have a shop.  We sell stuff.  Sort of.

But amazingly, you can preview all content before buying without even stealing it – how amazing is that!